India is a stubborn country. Here, change is very tough to bring upon. It makes India culturally strong, on the other hand, however, it we still have some practices that shouldn’t have left the 20th century. One of which is the arranged marriage and the whole ecosystem around it, comprising relatives, family pressure and chaar log.
The biggest of influencers, however, are Indian parents. Sitting at the very top of the reverence food chain, these are the orchestrators of this whole marriage business. Armed with emotional blackmail and a total rejection of societal progress, they ignorantly make life hell for millions of Indian sons and daughters.
Each year millions of naive bachelors are brainwashed into this trap by their parents. The ironic part is that these parents are the sufferers of this very system, but they still happily push their children into it.
The main reason this tradition still continues is that Indian kids fear their elders more than they respect them. Since birth, we’re taught to never question the authority of an elder. Even a discussion or an argument is discouraged as though it is some form of satanic ritual no one should practice. Elder’s stupidity or wrongdoing is never to be talked about, such is an unspoken rule in the society.
We treat elders as some form of godlike creatures while in reality, they’re just people who had kids.
I am in no way asking people to misbehave with their parents. It’s not binary, that either they should be treated like people who can do no wrong or not listened to at all. They have done their best to bring us on this planet and continue to do their best to give us a decent future. For that, they should be respected. They’re however wrong on many occasions and for that, they should be called out without having to feel an unprecedented amount of guilt.
The youth doesn’t have the courage to tell their parents that they’re wrong and the parents are so busy enjoying the easy respect. They’ve forgotten that it’s not demanded rather commanded.
Proponents of arranged marriage point to the rather inconclusive data of divorce rates in India which currently stands at 1.14% which is among the lowest in the world. Any person living in the country, however, knows what that data actually means. It means that in India killing yourselves commands more honour than divorce. In 2018, 63 married women committed suicide EVERYDAY!
There is so much potential for our Indian society to be great at marriages but either young adults are forced into a marriage that makes their lives miserable or they flee with one another leaving their families behind. There is rarely a middle ground.
Calling out elders when they are wrong or unjust is something that we as a society need to promote. Not only will this make the elders more informative about the societal changes, but it will also teach the youth to take responsibility for their lives. Most Indians between the ages of 20-30 are still handheld by their parents and walked through their personal decision-making processes.
Job, a partner, eating habits, most things are controlled by Indian parents, so much so that there is no scope for self-discovery. It needs to change, the sooner the better.